Waiting

What happens when you "be still" and wait on God is that He keeps working on your behalf.  Even in the silence, even when you're a little confused and unsure of His master plan, He keeps on moving forward.

We've been still(ish).  We've been praying and waiting.  We've been trying really hard to figure out where we're going and we haven't figured it out.  Not a bit.  But rest assured, as we are, that God IS still working. We are still 100% dedicated to moving forward with Confident Hope.  We're just not exactly sure what out timeline will look like, yet.

Tonight we were able to spend a few hours alone together, thanks to a friend who loves our kids and wants to play with them on occasion.  (I guess that's more fun when parents aren't around!)  So we sat at our table, over steak and potatoes, and talked, mostly about where we're going and what we're thinking.

When we first began to dream up Confident Hope, we asked ourselves (and were asked by several others) whether this was just a "mountaintop" dream, coming off of our Oklahoma experience.  We didn't feel that it was.  Three months home, and we still don't feel like this was a mountaintop experience.  We're still all in. We still feel so very strongly that we're called into disaster missions.  We're still on board.  We're maybe even more convinced now than before!

We've been praying that God would show us when and how His plan for our ministry would run.  We've not figured it out yet, but we do know some things.

• We have contacted several different missions organizations, with very little response.  While that's been a little frustrating, we're at peace with the lack of response...at least mostly.
• A few weeks ago we contacted the state office (in another state) for our church movement.  We have had response and have been in casual contact with that state's missions coordinator.  We will be speaking with him more this week.
• The state missions coordinator for that state has given our information to one of our national missions coordinators.  That national coordinator contacted us this week and we will be setting up a meeting with him in the near future.
• We're in the process of searching for a truck and trailer, so that we can begin to make this dream a  reality.  We did find a trailer tonight that, while small, would work at least short term.  It has room to sleep 8, but one of our kids wouldn't have a "dedicated" bed.  It wouldn't quite be our ideal trailer, but if it's what we can find and afford, it'd work.
• We're still prayerfully moving forward, and seeking His hand every step of the way!

We've been quiet here, but God's been moving.  We've been still, but He hasn't.  Plans ARE moving forward, albeit slowly.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers!  We could specifically use prayer in the following areas:

• That we would discover whether we are going to be starting in summer missions or whether we'll be diving right into full time ministry.
• That we'd find funding to purchase a truck and trailer.
• That we would feel comfortable and assured that the organization with which we choose to work (once we find one) is the organization God has prepared for us (and us for it). 

Making plans

It's begun in full force, the planning.  For the last several days, I've had the files constantly open on the computer.  Word documents, jpegs, spreadsheets, they're all there.  We've been staying up into the wee hours of the mornings, dreaming together. Logos are being created.  Letterhead is being drafted.  We have a blog (if you're reading this, you've found it!), a facebook account, a twitter account, an email address.  For a ministry that's (so far) only in our hearts and minds, we've made a lot of progress over the last few days!

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Yesterday we took a pretty huge leap and met with our missions pastor in the morning.  I was nervous that he'd try to talk us out of it.  I was afraid that he'd say we were crazy.  I knew he'd tell us that families with small children can't be missionaries and we should wait 15 years or so, until they're all out of the house.

He didn't.

He was encouraging.  He talked about his own family, a family with 4 kids, who are all missions-driven.  He talked about domestic missions and the vital role they play.  He talked about how amazing and terrifying and wonderful our call is.  He reminded us that, just like our "regular" jobs, there may be "crap days" as missionaries, and that we have to understand that everything won't be perfect.  He told us that being a missionary is hard work.  He assured us that being a missionary family is even harder work.

He coached us.

He encouraged us.

He affirmed us.

He prayed for us.

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Last night, we met with a man that's already in the disaster missions field.  A missionary.  Someone our own age.  He doesn't have a wife or kids, but he has a family that relies on him.  He has a story and a testimony. He talked our ears off into the early morning of today, telling us what God can do and what God has done and what God is doing.  He shared his mission and his vision and his goals, and talked about where he sees God leading him

He listened to our hearts and encouraged us.

This new friend and fellow missionary shared some experiences with us.  He shared some bits of hope with us.  He shared some advice with us.  He talked about his struggles and he talked about his victories in Christ. He talked about how hard it is to be a single 20-something in full time missions work, and how he can't imagine what it would be like to be a 30-something couple with kids in full time missions work, but how it's totally doable, especially if you're following God's call.

He talked about how, sometimes, you have to step out in faith and believe God's going to take care of what He's telling you to do.

He encouraged us.

He affirmed us.

He prayed for us.

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We have SO far to go.  We have budgets to write, research to do, documents to create, prayers to pray, and so many other things on the agenda.  (We also have 2 birthdays and an anniversary to celebrate this month, so we'll be busy!)  We'll get there, though, because we believe with our whole hearts that this is God's call in our lives and we are dedicated to radically stepping out in faith to be obedient.

Please continue to pray for us as we dig deeper into our preparations!

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(Oh, and a very special happy birthday to our oldest child on her 8th birthday today!  You're amazing, Baby Girl!)

It doesn't make sense, but...

It was about 3 weeks ago that we came home from Moore, Oklahoma, having spent an amazing 5 days working with ARC Disaster Relief Team.  We spent hours sifting through bits and pieces of peoples’ lives, by hand.  It was heartbreaking and heartwarming to dig through and pull out their precious mementos, memories with which they’d be reunited because of our efforts. 

I noticed, during our 5 days of relief, that a lot of people show up in disaster zones to help fix homes.  A lot of people.  I was struck, though, and saddened, by the lack of people I saw that had shown up to help fix hearts.  

We picked up our kids, after a 10-day “vacation” from one another, and settled into a cozy booth at one of our favorite local Mexican restaurants.  We were debriefing about out adventures, ours in Oklahoma and theirs at “the lake” with Aunt Jennifer, when Little Lou popped out this doozy: “Hey guys, I decided I want to be a missionary when I grow up.”

A missionary.

We talked about what that means.  She gets it.  We talked about countries to which she might travel.  She told us she didn’t want to travel to other countries.  She wanted to travel to the people in the United States of America, to be a missionary here.  She said people here need to hear about Jesus.

The United States.

We looked at each other over the table, my husband and I, and gave each other one of those “We need to talk” looks.  You know the look.  When you’ve been married 10 years and a couple for more than 14, you have a whole system of looks. 

We put the kids to bed that night, later than usual, having spent some time re-acquainting, and sat down on the couch for our first real conversation in a week.  He looked at me and said, “I’ve been thinking.  If we can sell the house and the cars, we could buy a travel trailer and a truck and we could travel to disasters as missionaries.”

Missionaries.

To the United States.

And I looked right back and him and said, “I was thinking that if we could just get someone to give us $100,000, we could pay off the house and buy a truck and trailer and…”

And we just looked at each other for a minute.  And then we started dreaming.  Because, somewhere along the way, somehow, God’s been working on both of us (for a long time, really), building a passion and desire into our hearts for people who are hurting.  And somehow, at the same time, while we were experiencing the same week through our own eyes, God showed us the same vision. 

The same vision.

Missionaries.

To the United States.

So here we sit, three weeks later, a million miles from where we were three weeks ago, prayerfully building our plan, our vision, our ministry. 

We’re ready to go.  Our kids?  They are on board.  They are EXCITED!  They want to tell people about Jesus and love on those people.  They’re willing to sell most of their toys so they can buy tablets from which they’ll be able to read books (yes, they are concerned about reading books) and Skype Mamaw and Nana.  Little Lou, in fact, would be perfectly content if the only apps that worked on hers were the Bible app and Skype.  She’s that awesome.

And so I implore you to pray. 

Pray for our hearts and those of our kids as we prepare for this journey.

Pray that, somehow, we find a buyer for our house.

Pray that we are able to sell our cars.

Pray that we find a truck and trailer that will fit our needs (and our budget…or better yet God’s).

Pray that we find the right organizations with which to connect so we can most effectively live out the mission to which we’ve been called.

Pray that we raise enough funds to keep us going…even if it’s through monthly sponsors.

Pray about whether you would be willing to help sponsor us through prayer, finances, or even a truck and trailer (I’m dreaming big, okay?) as we begin lives as missionaries to disaster areas.

Pray that we clearly see God’s vision despite having human eyes.

Thank you for your time reading our hearts’ visions…and for your prayers!